Friday, April 20, 2007

Rainy Days

I'll admit that today's rain took me by surprise. Yesterday was sunny and beautiful, and I didn't check the weather forecast. Although the old saying is April Showers Bring May Flowers, this is Southern California, and we really don't get much rain in April (usually less than 1"). I think I'll forgive Mother Nature, however, since we are at near record lows for rainfall this year.

Our plan was to get out this afternoon and pick up tomato plants, however, it's raining hard enough that Papa actually took the car to work. Technically I could have dropped him off so we could use the car, but really, on a rainy day I don't want to go anywhere.

The rain is good for the garden ~ although I did water thoroughly yesterday. I added compost and wet it down as well, and now the rain will make sure the nutrients make their way throughout the soil. We planned to plant Sunday, and it look as though that plan will work out, as there is no more rain in the forecast for the next 10 days.

Today has felt more natural than yesterday did. Grandma slept in so I ate breakfast with the boys, made my bed, and was dressed well before she got up. I poured her coffee and made her a piece of toast, and we sat and gabbed at the breakfast nook table for awhile. Then T-Guy and I walked in light rain to get the paper, and we sat and read the paper and gabbed some more. Grandma took a shower (another thing that we have now navigated successfully) while I researched spinning wheels (my brother and his family bought me one at an antique shop for my birthday, and it looks functionally and not merely decorative, but will probably need to be rehabbed).

Papa and I fixed lunch, and as we sat down with Grandma I realized how unique our family really is. Not only do we sit down to the dinner meal together each night, we almost always eat lunch together as well. It's a wonderful coming together.

Grandma is still having really hard nights, and I know that there is nothing that I can do about it. Spending her days with us provides diversion and company, however at night she is alone with her thoughts, and she is missing Grandpa's presence in bed. I know that I don't sleep well when Papa is away, and usually invite the boys (or at least the Girl-Dog) to share the bed with me.

Grief is a rough road. We can be with someone while they grieve, we can grieve the same person they are grieving, and yet we all walk the road alone. For me it is my grandfather who is gone, a man I adored as a child, a man I felt I couldn't please in my young adult days, a man I came to treasure once I had children. Certainly I feel his loss. Still, my grandmother has lost the man she was married to for 47 years, her companion, her friend, her lover, her partner, her protector. Her grief is more intense and will last longer than mine. For me, my grandfather was someone I visited occasionally; for my grandmother he was the person she was with nearly 24/7 for the past 15 years (once they both retired). My day-to-day life is not affected in the same way.

So we sit out the rain, puttering, chatting, reading, working. We accept that for now it is day-to-day; plans are not set in stone. We have options, we have time...we have each other.

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